An Interesting Date

 Conversation between Dr. Chasuble and Maxine Ratliff

Chasuble: ‘“And how are we this morning?”’ (22)

           

Maxine: Pretty good how about you dear?

Chasuble: ‘“Very sad indeed”’ (26).

Maxine: Why on earth is that?

           

Chasuble: Well of course because I have to go to your parents’ house for lunch this afternoon. I just want it to be you and me.

Maxine: ‘“I suppose you’ve never been subjected to someone’s parents on the first date before”’ (135).

Chasuble: Listen, ‘“I have preached at harvest celebrations, christenings, confirmations on days of humiliation and festal days,”’ but lunch with the parents of a girl as adorable as you makes me quite nervous to say the least (27).

Maxine: ‘“Come on…I’ll show you the house”’ (131).

Chasuble: ‘“What seem to us bitter trials are often blessings in disguise,”’ so let’s drive on over there (28).

[Upon arriving at the house of Maxine and her parents]

Maxine: ‘“I should probably warn you that I live with my parents”’ (129).

Chasuble: ‘“You need have no apprehensions,”’ I will not judge you because of that (28).

Maxine: Also, I forgot to tell you that ‘“There’s plenty of wine in the trunk of the car”’ (145).

Chasuble: ‘“These are very joyful tidings”’ (28). But I’m gonna get real weird with it. Will your parents mind?

Maxine: ‘“Why on earth would they mind?”’ (129)

Chasuble: I mean real weird. Is that still gonna be okay?

Maxine: I think it’s a good thing I drove. I’ll just take you home if you start to embarrass yourself.

[Later that night]

Maxine: I’ve been doing some thinking recently and I think I have decided that I want to adopt a child. Things here in this giant house with my parents are getting a little boring.

Chasuble: ‘“But have you any grave doubts on the subject?”’ (27)

Maxine: ‘“You’ve never had a dog, have you?”’ (135)

Chasuble: Why on earth are you comparing a dog to a child. That just does not seem proper Max.

Maxine: I’m sorry I just meant that I would enjoy the companionship.

Chasuble: ‘“But is there any particular infant in whom you are interested?”’ (27)

Maxine: ‘“You should stay with me”’ tonight and we can discuss this matter (139).

Chasuble: ‘“My Child! My Child!”’ I failed to mention earlier that I am a married man. I had no idea that you would start talk about adopting a child with me on our first date. I just wanted to find a girlfriend because my wife is out of town so frequently.

Maxine: First of all, do not ever call me child.

Chasuble: ‘“But is a man not equally attractive when married?”’ (26)

Maxine: No, of course not. Look it was nice meeting you. What was your first name again?

[Exit Chasuble as Maxine slams the front door behind him]

Maxine (on right)