The Art of Bunburying

Dear Journal,

I could not be happier that today Ms. Serensky’s AP English class made me the focus of their class discussion after reading Act 1 of The Importance of Being Earnest. It was nearly the best day I ever had because they were all condemning me for my sneakiness and craftiness. They thought that they were ridiculing me but in reality, I took it as a compliment. I love to be described as mysterious, devious, and suspicious especially when it comes to my creative use of my dear friend Bunbury. The class was in disbelief that an innocent Englishman like me would do something so immoral as to ‘“invent an invaluable permanent invalid called bunburry, in order that I may be able to go down into the country whenever I choose”’ (6). I could not stop laughing to myself when I heard Sam Schiferl exclaim, “it is despicable that a gentleman like Algernon would deceive his friends and family by exploiting the vulnerability of invalids.” Alex Hurtuk then added that he was very upset that I would ever do anything other than, “tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” However, this cunning maneuver allows me to so easily escape the company of in-laws who I do not want to dine with. It makes perfect sense and it is quite a genius idea if I do say so myself. Bunbury will become even more valuable after marriage because, ‘“a man who marries without knowing Bunbury has a very tedious time of it”’ (7). This was the other thing I saw very humorous in the class discussion—the willingness to criticize me for my cynicism towards love and marriage. It is extremely odd that a bunch of seventeen and eighteen year-old students would criticize an experienced lover such as myself on a topic that they have no real experience with. This only contributed to the fact that this was the best day I could ever have because I enjoyed watching the students make idealistic and ignorant claims about falling in love and making a definite proposal. As the ridiculing of my clever use of Bunbury dwindled, the class shifted to slamming Lady Bracknell, and let me tell you, ‘“I love hearing my relations abused”’ (15). In fact, it is really ‘“The only thing that makes me put up with them at all”’ (15). The end to a perfect day was finished off as I observed a pack of hyenas all acting like savages and going in for the kill on my closest relatives.
Sincerely,
Algy

Alex Hurtuk

Sam Schiferl (with other students in the background